Crossed another 'I want to see that live' off my bucket list in grand style today. Saw Jerry Seinfeld at the Orpheum this evening and it was gold, I tell ya. GOLD!
So the Little Ticket Faerie rained luck down on us and we had fourth row for the early show! Didn't I tell ya it was gold? Here is what the view of the stage from our seats looked like:
So, the opening act is some guy I had never heard of, but apparently his claim to fame is being in the movie Just Go With It. His name is
Mario Joyner and I'd never heard of him before. At all. He was worth a handful of good laughs out of his efficiently-used 20 minutes.
My favourite bit in Joyner's set was when he said the advantage of being single is that everything is where you leave it. I'm pretty sure my wife was not jazzed I pointed this out after the show because we differ enough in points of view on maintaining house for this to be an issue.
Then Jerry comes right out after Joyner leaves. No set up. No announcement. No intro music. Seinfeld just runs right out there and launches into his set moments after his friend leaves the cavernous Orpheum stage. Just the way it should be.
Now I'm not one of those numskulls who has to photograph anything and everything, moving or not. However, if it is my favourite comedian up there 15 feet from me, I'm taking a picture, so screw you. Now, in my defence, had they actually announced 'no pictures' I would have fought the urge and refrained clicking away. However, everyone around us went for it, so why the hell not.
I should mention my phone's a piece of crap with a camera that requires all sorts of tweaking to make it even come close to working in weird lighting, so I just shot and hoped for the best. The result was a couple of trippy art shots, backlit by, as Seinfeld eloquently put it, 'Superman lighting'.
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| Your boys should stay in their neighbourhood! |
So I got those two shots off and thought about a third, but by then the funnyman already had the entire sold out room in stictches. Less than a minute, and he had everyone in the palm of his hand. An example within just that first minute or so:
"You're so into your coffee up here that you have a place called the Second Cup. They've already assumed you've had your first cup, so why not go for your second one? Well, what a coincidence, they happen to sell you your second cup right here..."
Zing! Busted. We do so love coffee it hurts.
Dude even dropped a TimmyHo's reference into that bit, which made us lemmings roar with approval. I did not even care how lame we sounded, hooting over coffee love and TimmyHo's. The Sein made it gold.
So I was going to shoot more of my longtime comedic idol and completely gave up because I was already laughing so hard, snot was coming out of my nose. No joke, really!
My wife, who has long been a fan of the Seinfeld show, too, was in tears before too long - the both of us losing ourselves in the comedic genius in our midst. We've seen some pretty crap comics, too, so we don't hold back when the ham up there is actually funny.
Seinfeld must have noticed our loud laughter immediately, because before too long, and on several occasions, he would look right at us as he told a joke or waited for the laughter to die down after the punchline.
I know, the man would look all over the venue during his generous hour-plus set, locking eyes with many others in the audience. But he kept coming back to our gaze, and we would belly laugh and after-giggle back in kind.
It was truly a night of comedy to remember. The most I personally laughed since seeing Cosby in the 80s and he kept saying the word 'shit' over and over (in reference to his family 'not having their shit together').
Seinfeld topped that night, hands-down, and without an ounce of profanity the entire evening. That's rare these days. For that reason alone, you had to appreciate it all the more.
Next on my list - and I hope I catch them before they retire - Bob Newhart and Don Rickles...
Oh look! The Orpheum ceiling and its grand chandelier! Hilarious!
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